SHOPPING IS WHAT GIRLS DO

Tmr is Sunday! :D

While my baby is at Malaysia, I am busy shopping. It started during the wkend before study week. Gosh, i spent 130+$ in a week. But i have to swear that it is at a bargain! 1 top, 5 dress (one of it is traded) and 1 blazer/jacket. If you estimate 130/7, it will be about 19$ each! Heh!

I bought two dress from T3 temporary stall for 15$ each! Haven took a picture of those 2 though. I joined the BO for HVV Laced Dress in Black & Champagne Gold Lining! Clare &Mag says it will reach on 22 Dec, so probably reach me on the 24th! :D



&bought BC cropped blazer for little below the original price. Received! Heh!



And traded a dress that i bought and couldnt fit in w AE Yves Colour Block Dress. But it's a little small too, but still can survive. I got stuck when i was trying. D: Letting it rest on the hanger for now.



Am waiting for my parcel w another 2 top/dress. Bought them below the original price too! yay!



And sudden crave to buy heels but the prices from Charles & Keith isn't very friendly. D: I got attracted to these 3 super killers w unfriendly prices.

101$,

95$,

62$


Do you think Santa can get them at my size? Heh!

Anw, enough of shopping! Tmr is Sunday! Yay, baby's coming home! I miss him so much. D: Exam has been a torture and w/o him is just so much worse. &tmr morning, I'll be at school doing proj. Will be missing BC private sales. S: (oops, shopping again!)

Soooo, where should I bring boyf to tmr? Our 2 years anniversary just past this week. &still deciding on the gift. D: Have to get it real quick since I'll be doing full time work for the 2 wk break. I want the gift to be something that represents us.

Any suggestions? :D

Alright, ending this soon. I wonder if class-night cycling outing has been successful. Couldn't attend as it is a cycling event (kill me), what more it is at night (kill me x2).

Someone, please update me!

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/edited
found another platform killer heels! This time from gojane!

27$


33$


Aww, good price + beautiful shoes. If my feet can tahan, I'll buy it now now now now now!

BABY, CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING FOR YOU TO BE BACK? I MISS YOU. D;

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The person I miss..

Who says Malaysia is near Singapore? D:

I have not started on lighting. Man, i am rotting myself away. This has been happening from the entire week and this is the term test week. boo!

My love has gone over to Malaysia to visit his grandmama. He got internet connection from another relative house and is on msn w me now! And, i want to shout..



BABY, I MISS YOU SO MUCHYYY! D:
come back soon, please!


really, soon please.

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Soccer, Screams.. and Pirate Ships?

Thai 3-1 Singapore was disappointing

Yes, I know I have not given my time to writing for quite(?) long but hey, I am not gonna abandon this!

Went to watch Singapore vs Thai at the National Stadium last Saturday w boyf.
It was drizzling throughout the match but we brave through it.



Hand ball, penalty, what else man? We left half way through the match when Thai was leading 2-0. the referee wasn't as sharp, I guess. But still, watching it live was much more fun cause it was filled with plenty of shouting, vulgarities and finger pointing from the crowd i am sitting w. Somewhat like the Man Utd vs Liverpool match i watch at mac the other day.

Oh yea, before i forgot.. Why does all the match i watch always disappoint me? :/ Like fated to lose in my face. boo!

Sunday was hell-oooooo fun, NOT because of the attraction but because i had a fabulous crowd w me. Special mention to Missy Auyong for her timingly screams that kept us laughing through the rides. Ultra car crasher did not crash during the go-kart this time! Should i say that i have lost my skills? XD

And I have conquer the viking ship again! YAY! I am the ultra viking laugh-screamo! Missy Auyong did not join us for this. Look at diagram below for description.

While the viking was flying me (with anqi, robin and karhong) up, i was screaming and kicking the seats in front like there was no tomorrow..

Then while it was flying us down, I was high on laughing gas.


that ride drained my energy. ): anyway after that ride, i went to take superman ride w karhong before watching the two boys go up the ferris wheel without me. It couldn't fit 3 big kids inside, so I took time to ask the rides operators on the maintenance issue.

After that, we had Orange Julius / Burger King. I had my triple cheeseyyy hotdog and coke combo! It was the most value for money food there. Sat there for a long time to discuss and write down points for the project before leaving to the pouring rain!

Alright, i am snapping for TP RAWK tmr! write again another day!

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Friends and a lonely birthday

Candyyyy!

School will be starting in 2 week's time. It means I'll have t say goodbye to the sweet company at RWS. ): I am going t start looking for candy/chocolate/cookies/etc to treat the lovely people I've met there.

I'll get Anizah a non-food item cause she is flying off tonight to UK and will only be back the end of the month. Omg, I really don't know what t get for them. Will also have to get something non-sweet for Daniel too!


So many things to look out for. :/

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The marketing interns went for the launch ytd and they got goodies from there. its so unfair cause i really want that poker card from the event. It has a nice packaging, you know. W rwsentosa logo &all. It's not fair! ):

&I really wish I could get the rwsentosa "ENTERTAINMENT" shirt. But, sigh, I know its not possible. ):

This coming week will be my last week there, I shall stop complaining &start working exceptionally hard!

--

Anw, class outing tonight! Dinner&kite flying! But I'll join them for dinner only, going t acc baby after work. I am a 24/7 hardworking girlf. XD

ps: I hope I pass the fsm exam. I don't want to retake it. Boooo! I hope the result comes sooner, pretty please?

--

&I don't really know how t put it but I had the worse birthday ever, this year? But baby's spaghetti saved it a little. That boy, he boil the spaghetti w/o looking after it. It was burnt at some parts, his first time cooking it. But it was delicious, baby. I know you don't like spaghetti, yet you learn t cook it for me. The multiple blueberry &"PO" (inside joke) teasing! Thank you, baby! Loveeee!

--

I know the post is messy, ending here today.

I love you, baby!

Obsessed by Mariah Carey is driving me nuts.

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RWS, birthday and clues!

(: it has been a long time, i know.

I've gotten an internship w RWS and currently is under a amazingly fun costume manager. since I've been there, I've been cutting down in my intake for lunch but there's no changes in my kgs. kind of disappointing, eh?

sometimes, i really feel like getting t blog and talk about anything. just updating this seem as though i am talking t an old friend. haha, the blog seemed so off w/o anything new. anw, baby got into M&S. when he told me he had t skip my birthday cause he accepted the job, i was REALLY disappointed and ignored him for that whole evening. but he is making up t me w the present he is so secretive about. so far, I've forced 8 clues (6 today) out of him. tmr I'll have another 3! yay, i hope Saturday comes soon.

by the way, today is sissy's birthday. mum came over and celebrate w us a few days back. we had two cakes the last few days (no wonder my kg didn't go down!). she is learning QG at east coast, healing people. the first thing she heal for me is t force my period out. god, the very next morning after she did that, my period came okay? it was later than it's usual schedule actually, but that's not the point. XD

anw, tmr is my off day. am supposed t be in vc camp BUT i think it haven been approve by the top, eh? so I'll go send baby t work tmr like how he sends me t work and back home everyday. I'll have around 8hours t walk around the entire area. maybe i should do something that takes up a lot of time, like get a pedi/mani like sissy. she had her's ytd, it looks so glossy and tempting. ): but its a lot of money if i really want it, i shouldn't right?

anw (again), i think its time i leave this blog to be kept this way for a few more days/weeks. see ya, all!

ps: i feel so gong cause only today (near t 3wk already), i realised that i have an email acc w RWS. hah!

i love you, baby!

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its holidayyyyyyyy, but i still have one more paper - fsm cert examination

saying goodbye to exams for now, not sure whether i managed t do well or pass though. my kakis should know that I've been very ill recently.

22nd: 39.4 ℃
23rd: 38.4 ℃
24th: 37.5 ℃
25th-27th: temp normal but brain malfunctioned

and there i had 3 papers on 26th & 27th. which i know i could have done very well if i wasn't still at recovery mode. what a time t fall ill, right robin? he had fever too. i refused t visit the doctor - how dumb was i? but if you were me, from the screaming to crying to body cannot move, you don't very much feel like waiting at a queue for the doctors.

thank goodness that I've a very caring sister and aunt and of course, my darling. (: and bestie kh who came -and got lost through the way- to my neighbourhood to teach me irdd calculations, which caused his to fall ill w me. psps!

thank you all, very much appreciated!
XOXO

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i wanted t go out shopping alone today, but i guess i wasn't brave enough t go all alone. my baby went t Malaysia t visit his grandma! i am going t pull sissy t go shopping w me tmr. since its just us girls, it will be lingerie madness and tadah -arrival of sissy's new thongs. i am getting it for her birthday which is 2 days before mine! :D

---


come back soon, baby! i miss you. ):

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EMO

bitch, i feel like scolding myself. why the sudden mood swing?








--

i bet i am going t delete this post.

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No More D700

37.2℃ wont kill me, yet.

soo my long-waited irdd results have finally came. i guess i should be really ((: cause its my only 4x paper. but look, bestie kh have 2 4x paper man. ):

anw, i seem t have a thing for raywong's paper. and i bet main exam is going t pull down the grades again like rebus. history is coming back t haunt me, isn't it? calculation is just not my thing, i guess.

--

btw, uncle's getting camera from me tmr cause i think he wants t bring it out for national day. that means I'll be carrying so much thing tmr man: laptop, bag, camera. &my body is acting up due t my cold, idk whether it can take it all.

ps t Gladys: no D700 t play w for class outing already. :/

--



i miss dating w my baby. are we watching UP soon? (:

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yes, this will continue for awhile more. but I'll keep it updated a much as i can.

went over sentosa w TAKEN for irdd proj and i defied kh's wish and brought my boy along. :D sorry bestie!

attractions chosen for bestie &i: Images of Singapore &Dolphin Lagoon, Winnie &Michel: Underwater World &Butterfly Park! i heard that Winnie &Michel screamed quite a lot for their Butterfly Park attraction! :X

Images of Singapore was not bad w the lighting and all. a +point will be that we were the only ones inside it at the start, so no need t rush or squeeze w other people! and Dolphin Lagoon was shite. i should really get the feedback form and tell them what's wrong w the entire thing man! those groups that has Dolphin Lagoon for the attraction will know why.

now now, let the picture do the talking! (click t enlarge)


ps: one collage too little? count the number of photographs that are in that picture man!

----

anw, I've gotten the Nikon D700 from uncle. omgggg, it so pretty and much lighter than vc's D300. but I've been keeping it in a box with silica gel cause i didn't get the dry cabinet from uncle. i guess that means i have t return t him soon. ):

soo
before i return the camera, more dates w my boy and class outing soon pleaseeeeee!

till then!

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3 weeks went by

omg. what/how should i write? its been 3 weeks since i last wrote something here. should i write in point form and list the number of things i've accomplished within the time i was gone or go week by week? i should really get back t blogging cause i cant remember things very much.

well, for the most memorable: irdd proj.
it is finally done, out, thrown, dump, bye-d. our presentation was good but short. and i lost my voice for a second while presenting and i didnt preform very well after that. but at least its over! i am out of money because irdd took most of it. and i nearly didnt eat for monday cause 9$ was spent on the brochures. 1 was given, 3 was kept, 1 missing. ): the missing one is supposed t be mine. i wonder who stole it. give me 1.80$!

flsm: just done, tmr due!
kh has been wiping my mess and i am guilty. anyone would alright? i only did the floor plans. typing, research and all: karhong 一手包. :/ i think he wont want t do proj w me anymore.

soon-to-be retail therapy!
i want the wallet at heeren, the white bag from uneven and new slippers. two slippers spoilt in 1 week. what luck! lucky for me, i have 3 pairs. :D

fun and out!
dateeeeeeeee w my dear boy after all the projs. i still left security&surveillance, spaceplanning and law. i will work hard from now on too. after proj = exams! but first, where should baby &i go for our date? maybe i'll treat baby t the song on the sea at sentosa and harry potter! he says he wants t watch them!



---
sorry for the sudden cut!

continue later or some other day! i shal leave sch and find baby first! (:

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tired, busy

i quarreled w baby ytd. no, for the past few days. i was/am very bad and selfish but i couldn't help it. ): baby didn't hold it against me no matter how nonsensical my complains were, which made me feel very guilty.

but i still don't like zzz, which means nothing changed much except that i will not complain for now. :X

and projs w bestie is going bad t worse. i am super slack now, you know. karhong just give in t me after my complains and all. i am sorry all. I'll work on the 3D model which i am figuring out how t do now cause our trees are like, not very friendly. then the cost and all, so i have t work hard on that part!

20% neh, don't anyhow throw away!

then i went over t sk polyclinic w baby after proj. 16:37 and it closed already. you know, other than cough, fever and flu, i have very similar other symptoms. like aching all over, diarrhea, fatigue, headache, so i was thinking of having a check up. but, neynineynipoopoo, the polyclinic's close. baby thinks its stomach flu since symptoms are the same. its so not worth it going t a private clinic for stomach flu, so i am going t wait till a day w/o much schedule t go over t polyclinic. (:

i hope irdd score is much better, my results for the other 2 was/is/am disappointing.

baby, sorry for everything. I'll try t be better, which i think is kind of impossible. :X but still, thank you for taking in my rubbish/nonsense/tantrum. (:

i love you!

ps: the new wrestling is fun but i can never win you. ):

sooo, what did that boy say? (:

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i am glad we had a few days off.

things that happened from most recently (eg: today - the week before):
baby &i had a hair cut
went iluma/bugis 3 times in a week
baby bought a new bag (stare at Darren -i have a reason for this)
saw Nigel at iluma
baby acc me t proj (every time)
proj, proj, proj!

I'll be having proj (raywong's fault) again tmr, and baby will be having his interview for the ambassador thingy. then Thursday will be soccer day for him and space planning day for me. boooo! today was a rest day actually and i just finished my researchyy. baby got tired and slept before me. I'll have him dragging me all around tmr, superrrr tired. (:

oh yea, 4E/FOUR dinner at Sakura tmr. i think i wont be much of a good mood, so please don't piss me. I've learnt t shoot people in the face already, esp when i am tired. &i get sooo lazy when it comes t socializing (&projs too). X.X

oh crap, i haven scan the drawing for space planning. tmr then!

i pulled my muscle (arms and thigh) during wrestling today, but it was so much love!
ps: I've got 2 vouchers! kisses!

bye!

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you know, i am supposed t be spaceplanning-ing. haha!

omgggg. after chasing super junior for the past idk how many donkey-years, why is it only now i find people i know that likes them too? i just came back from Suqin's blog (yayah, i wasted an hour of my spaceplanning on bloghopping). the main thing is, ..

SHE LIKES MY YESUNGGGGG TOO! ):

my one and only yesung w his lovely ryeowookie, his husky sexy voice and love for his hair that he brings hairspray all around. haha! but i don't feel threaten by Suqin's snatching. come on, i know him for so long already (check back few years posts if u want evidence). HAHAHAHA!

yay to suju fans! more the merrier! bring them over t Singapore, pleaseee! :D

that was i was when i have not found you, baby! don't be jealous! you know i love you only!
-and that's how i found big bang and the rest too! (:

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goodbye termtest, and say hello t spaceplanning, IRDD, FLSM and law.

i finally bought my formal blouse and skirt. thank you baby for paying for me. despite the G2000 at archorpoint is having GSS, it total up t 96.60$. ): but i am really happy that the shopping went well, i wasted Friday walking around Bugis, at least iluma had the voucher that baby and i are planning t get (i think?).

my boy spotted a really nice blazer but its 300+$, so i am thinking of chipping in a little and maybe discuss w his daddy that we each split the cost, so baby can finally get a blazer he likes. but its really costly, so i think we need more discussions.

and i finally met his parents after that time. it was more of just hi &bye cause i fell asleep in his room until his parent came back. i think they are still not very happy about it but we will be good. and i hope baby's termtest scores well, so at least we have something t support it. his mummy, daddy were really upset over his results that all those happened (the fact that they don't like me also contributed though).

and i bullied my boy again. i think he will be so )': when he read his mail today. i really love you, baby! i am sorry for all the ranting time, &time, &time again. boooooooo.

ps: stop spying on our blog raywong!

time t finally start on my drawings. i don't want Darren and Karhong t fail my PE. ):

oh, and get well soon Alex! (:

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sorry all.

i was being unfair to my boy. i know selfish, i am trying but it just shows that i am not trying hard enough. ): nevertheless, thank you, baby! for being there when i need u even when things isn't fair to u. you're the best! i am sorry. &i love you.

then i had another disagreement, now w my team (Karhong, Darren). my week was set, everything is going fine but then something else had to squeeze in, space planning.

yes, i know we should start early, esp since this term break is filled w projs but my week is reserved/planned already. this week is solely for term test. it has been planned that which day study what &then when my time for pmgnt had t be taken over by space planning, that's not right. term test dates are nearer, so eventually i put it at my first priority. only after that, will i use the remaining time for space planning (&other projs).

our priority just don't meet this time. but i will make time t do up my floor plans, don't worry. (:

baby -one+one+one+one+one+one+one+one+one+one+one..
Karhong &Darren -two

yw -zero

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it's hot and devilish.

i am all alone in school again. yes, t study security&surveillance but the feel isn't right yet, so i hop here for a little break.

baby redo his report for cmsk ytd night. i accompanied him through it, more of like keeping track if he has fallen asleep cause we both were really tired, &what matters most is that his report is due today! yayness, cause we did managed t complete it by around 500 in the morning! we slept for an hour before zooming t tp cause he has class and i need t study for term test.

i feel so proud of myself cause i am kind of having the wide-awake feeling w just an hour of sleep. but then again, maybe I'll do something funny today cause i always do when i feel really tired. :/

and tp is really hot, as in the temperature here is really horrible. ): I've been dripping wet since I've got here and wasted a couple of tissue. and i only have a pack today, it's surelyyyy not enough for a girl who perspire non-stop. booo.

i want t stop here. tp-secure isn't very friendly as usual. I've 2, 3 blue screens throughout this post.

crap, i am really sleepy now. maybe a very irritating and high song can wake me up.. (:

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/Gary: haha! don't know whose blog like more upsetting lor.
/Karhong: yup yup, bestie! sorry that u have t tahan all those nonsense. bestie 就是 bestie sia!

i should be studying now.

oh well, baby had soccer at serangoonsec today! i didn't get t watch cause i was still lazying around on my bed. however, i managed t meet him for breakfast (which consist of actually just icelemontea from KFC). but still i am very happy cause we didn't get t meet up like this outside school for awhile already. (:

so i hope this few weeks will end quickly and smoothly, so we can meet up for dates after term test. be friendly raywong. don't give so much work, luh! (:

-heading back

my boy was injured by a guy from the other team. apparently the guy's studs ate into his knee but he said it hurts only when he walks. ):
but still, i can see that it hurts kind of badly cause he starts t limp a little as he walks. my poor boy, i am thinking of getting him his bottled salonpas and some bandage if it still hurts badly tmr. then off we go t see doctor if it still doesn't get any better.

well well, i think i can afford t rest awhile more before doing up notes for term test, couldn't i? i am kind of tired, lazy, lazy, lazy. :D

oh crap, i wish my brain has a USB port t plug in and copy files just like that. good idea right? can i use it for major proj? do floor plan for my brain using autoCAD and revit out the 3D effect before using security&surveillance t spy on how my brain actually works before planting in the USB port. :D

FAT HOPE, YW

ps: we saw guanliang today. he has gone skinnier. omg, i wish i could lose some fats too before i can proudly demand baby t piggyback me all around. XD

ending here today! i am feeling kind of random!

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sometimes, i think i ask too much from bestie and boyf.

alright, raywong sat down and read what i was writing. apparently i only came up w the first few words. like he said, its still going t be up on the web for all t see, so no point lah. so I'll continue on what i was going t write on.

-

period made me a really bad friend and girlf.

i quarrelled w bestie over nothing.
i read boyf's sms inbox, w/o his permission.
i forced boyf t go for his lesson.
i nearly not let boyf go for soccer.

what's next? idk, i really don't. its like idk why that is even happening. i don't really mood swing that much. maybe its due t the endless blue screens, unconnectable tp-secure, 4 packed bus, etc. pissed by so many stuffs, &felt neglected by boyf cause his projs &presentations are never ending. ):

&i KO ytd night. missed my reading session for security&surveillance. i totally deserve t fail this quiz today. i only did 5mcq, the rest are blanked. i couldn't solve anything. nothing came up at all, all because i KO ytd.

i should have sat up when Gary woke me up by sms.
i should not have slept on my dumb bed since i already know i need t wake up.
i should not have slept at all cause i couldn't get up t wake boyf up too.
i should have concentrate while reading w bestie in sch.

i should have, i should have.. but its all too late now. i can only work harder for projs and term test.

i hope boyf's soccer ends soon. period makes me feel like emoing &that's not good at all.

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hi. i am in school now at 635pm. it has been a
looooonnnnnggggggggg day. ya.


haha! that was from boyf! i am in it sch using their lab comps cause baby is doing proj w his classmates and i want t wait for him t be done then we can go home tgt! :D

I'll be have space planning assignment (tmr 800) and security&surveillance quiz (Friday) this week. i should really buck up cause i have no idea how t draw the bubble diagrams (for spaceplanning) &where my lect has reach until (for secsur). i want t score really well for CA since I'll need them t pull up my grades. ):

buck up, yw. exams isn't as easy as u think. D:

-

btw, i ate (&spent) a lot today. i had beehoon w dishes (2$) at 830, prata and milo dinosaur (3$) w class and a packet of rice (3$) that I've just finish. i spent away the 5$ that i am supposed t return t Clements. ): luckily i don't get t see him until Saturday. XD oh ya! Karhong treated me drinks too. omggg, I've spent so much money in one day. how can i save up for uni this way? ):

i should really stop eating. stop me, people. its all for a good cause.

-

and i gave massage session during proj management today. we ended early as usual, so i hop around giving massage since class were all playing restaurant city. leaving me, Winnie and Zohan out casted. ):

oh well, i gave head massage t Anthony again. he fell asleep &i nearly did too. it was like for 30mins or more and got really really reallyyyyy sleepy. &omg, i have his DNA all over my fingers. he should pass me some of his cuteness DNA then we can do the dance move tgt. HAHAHA!

-

alright, i think i should really start sleeping more. i said soo many weird things today. Winnie kept laughing and laughing lah. i think it got something t do w all the running &catching between Winnie &i getting chase by Gary.

"sooo, today so hot ar?" :D

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It is the heart that makes man rich. He is rich according to what he is, not according to what he has.

-Henry Ward Beecher



i guess it means being generous w my heart? but sorry all, my heart is filled and enough only for one boy. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

okay lah, I'll be nicer t everyone else. like i am not in the first place. come on, yw is a very very niceeeee girl! :D

anyway, that quote was what I've gotten for apel assignment, which is equals t: "give a person from another class a treat (lunch or something) w/o any reason." but i had t tell my lovely boy that it was part of my apel assignment before he let me treat him. it still counts right? :D

anyway, i think I'll do more funny things today. i am really really tired. didn't sleep since waking up at 12mn ytd. irdd, boy, sch, &here i am.

say hi t my dark circles, headache and dying eyes.

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i am back from fdm freshies camp. &I've Winnie and Gladys for company for the entire 3 days! but i still miss my boy terribly. ):

DAY ONE:
sch, boy'f house, sch, home, sch, camp, found Alvin's clone (other than Gladys), dance, spooky trail, dark room w Winnie, Gladys, Clements &Alex, mac for supper, sleep
DAY TWO:
shower, darling boy, cc, bpw1, kfc lunch, bpw2, darling boy left, bpw3, tampines one, duckway, pasta mania dinner, camp, Anthony cute dance, debrief, shower, 02 bunk
DAY THREE:
punch by Alvin (x.x), woke the rest, sleep, wash up, camp, sleep, camp video, debrief, dark room, toilet cubicle w no toilet paper, makan, home

yea, i think i just summarised my 15th-17th may.

&I've got irdd research t do and somehow, my alarm didn't work just now. ): thank goodness that Gary msg me and brought me out of my dreamy world and back t the harsh reality.

anyway, photos on camp soon. loads of filtering t do for Gladys since the photos are under vc. &yayness, i managed t capture loads of tak glam photos. join my tak glam photography workshop, anyone? XD

i shall start on irdd soon. i hope i don't have t present tmr. please please pleaseeeeeeee.





i miss my boy. he has been working on his projs for the past idk how many weeks/days/hours/minutes/seconds, morning/night morning/night. I'll have t learn t be more patient and not disturb him. i think i suck at that. booooooooo.

i am such a selfish girlf. :/


i love you, baby! loads of hugs &kisses tmr! (:

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/Gladys: yup yup! i can't wait t see how u all going t develop the film in dark room!

&all i did was t drop my phone.

it wasn't a very far distance from the floor. it wasn't hit on a floor as rough as sch concourse floor, but it did more damage t it than i would have thought of.

my touchscreen stopped working. i couldn't back up my phone cause I'll need the touchscreen t change the transfer mode from fast to normal. i couldn't switch off my alarm clock, which i had t put it on snooze for ard 2 hours cause i had all 3 alarms on. &warranty ended few months back.

laptop refuses t connect t internet ytd night. i felt like it was the end of the world since I've lost in the scissors, paper, stone w karhong which means i had t bring lappy for proj today. everything went down so hard on me ytd. i was really pissed. i threw my phone numerous times hoping that it will knock itself back okay.

nothing works, nothing works but i manage t survive a night and half of a morning of horror.

since i was up, i tried t connect t internet w lappy today, it works. then i opened Firefox t see how t save my phone. i read the forum and did as the person from Canada did, it works.

i guess I'll have t be really gentle w my gift t myself (from last year). this sonyericsson w960i is still my favourite, so please don't give up on me.

i kept rumbling t baby about the phone and disturbed him while he was doing his work. sorry baby, &thank you. you're forever the best!

and I've never back up my phone before, but its never too late t start.
you'll know.

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/xq: haha! don't want leh. i think this is so cool can. i actually copied the idea from Val. :X

okay, its been a week. actually, it has been more than a week since I've started w aircon assignment. guess what, i am still stuck at the bloody question and tmr, i am having a quiz on that exact question. if only Gary remembered how t do it. ):

anyway, tmr is the damn deadline for the aircon assignment and my teaching notes which I've not started on. its the reason I've gotten on lappy too.

love said that his mum just want us t concentrate more on our studies instead, therefore she said those words. i should believe, but forcing one by sending him overseas in a month just so that we don't meet anymore, is extreme t me, like a last resort. i don't like it, neither does he. but we are contented w what we have now, at least we have us.

study, people. damn that irdd &aircon. there goes my sleep, i am soo not sleeping tonight.

and wj send us home today. i felt glad cause i didn't have t go all the way home alone, i had company. joining vc wasn't a wrong choice. look, i can have friends too &&photography is soo fun. (: i can't wait for uncle t buy his D300 cause he say he will leave it in my hands after that. he said he wont be using as much as i will. :D

&&i made friend w Gary, we are doing law proj tgt! look people, i made friend w a person from another class &i am so proud of it. don't say me dao already luh. haha!

okay. teaching notes, here i come. i'll figure out how t do the assignment tmr. no point getting stuck for the next 12 hours.

i love you, baby!

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/Robin &Gladys: thanks guys. :D
/Alex: yea, i realised. xq damn cool right? but cannot praise her too much de hor, xq?

yea, i am in school early again. I'll get used t getting up early, going library/cc and doing some work. i gave him the butterfly choco that i made ytd, this morning. it wasn't sweet and all but he ate it all up. happy!

and his mum doesn't like sweet food. now, what should i do? make a pie? idk how t make a pie, omggggg. maybe I'll cook fried rice luh, is it better? at least for fried rice, I've done it before. or beehoon. you know, home economics. :D

I'll try my best for those things, watch youtube on how t do and reading up on the net. but as for the aircon hydraulics assignment, I've so so sooo many doubts. i managed t do the first few and i am proud of it. 3 more full questions w abcdefg that i dont know left. any one that have taken psychometrics have any idea how t do? w/o the kg/s, i am hopeless. cause kg/s is part of the formula, give me m3/s and i am stuck. ):

yw is not working hard enough but still jiayou!

ps: i am getting more chocolate today. buy more, make more. 2 nights left t practise. and i've t get proper moulds. i've been using the one for agar agar that we used t make w aunt. X.X

when weight loss becomes weight gain. all the left over cmi chocolate, i've been eating on my own. ):

cause we love.

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i am not as sad now.

i told karhong everything. thank you bestfriend for being there. at that time, i couldn't survive will all those thoughts in my mind but it's all better now. (:

actually, as I've stated in the last post, we'll be concentrating on our studies. for the first time, yw will be working and saving really hard. please, if u find me not producing work of good quality, tell me. i really really want t do well for my CA/exams. my gpa has been pulled down by my second sem and i really got t buck up.

all As for proj, people!

anyway, i am working hard on the chocolates now. his birthday is on Wednesday, mum's birthday and mothers' day is on Sunday. this year is chocolate-making year. if the chocolate is successful, i want t make some for his mother too. its okay if she refuse t accept, I'll try again next year. (:

cause we've got t sacrifice now for the future.

btw when Alex was asking me 你最近还好吗 w the SHE song, i was fighting back my tears. killers! X.X but it's also w friends in vc and class (darren, robin, karhong, winnie, gladys .....) that i managed t laugh these few days. thanks people, appreciated!

anyway, i want t go for the vc w the new members! I'll go along w him when he has decided t go on Monday or Tuesday, ..should be can hor? (:

okay, i think this post is enough.

its all for his/my/our future;
aunty &uncle, we'll be good. don't do the extremes t either of us please.

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things isn't like this anymore

due t unforeseen circumstances, my boy and i are going t focus on our studies first. may not update blog as often.

i love you, you love me. we'll be strong.

thanks.

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the 413 post

yw is learning t stop looking backwards, i am an ass at this cause i can't do it right. every time i shower, i reflect (i know i said a lot of times already). when i can't get something off my mind, it resurface every time i reflect (ps: shower time again).

i am happy when i am w u, i am. idk why also! i hope darling is too! :D

everything is alright now between my boy &i. but every time i shower, one thing (i saw, i hate, i cry) pops up. so many things (actually, it is those few only) that i don't like, I've told him. he knows, we discussed and they vanished. but idk if i told him the one made me the most sad cause it haven't been wash off my mind.

it's the most most most sad thing he did that had made me cry for days. the most most most most most sad thing that keeps popping up my mind, it can make me sad no matter how happy i am.

omgggggg. why is this happening again.

i know its over already but can i tell u, darling? i think i am really naggy. omg, i am going t be an old hag when i am old. ):

or maybe its okay not t tell cause its just my mind acting up? help me decide, darling? my mind is confusing me again. ahhh!

or should try laughing it off every time it pops up, shouldn't i? maybe if i keep doing that for maybe a month or two, i might get it off. then if it doesn't, then at that time then tell u, darling? i think maybe i am not trying hard enough.

WHY AM I TEARING AGAIN? omgggggg. darling is going be so disappointed in me. ):

source of all evil, i think i should just stop showering.

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one obstacle down.

I've said my words &i am glad this time, i did it quite properly (or so i thought). i was preparing for a huge response this time but he didn't show much emotions.
i was prepared t cry &i still did anyway. i guess it's either that he was prepared (too), can't be bothered or he tried t hide them.

whichever way, we made our promise. hopefully we will stick tgt &prepare for future (thought i hope there wont be) obstacles. we still need t graduate, work, marry, have children, watch them grow up, have grandchildren ..and grow old tgt!

i believe u when u say it wasn't you. so for now, I'll find out the person who misused your email/identity and hopefully pass him/her t the police before i kill him/her. god, please let me find out who it is.

now u know i don't like what u did but if there is really the need, just tell me.
i will learn t be more understanding. I've tried &failed, but i will keep trying. cause there is sooo many things we are t do tgt till we are old and wrinkled! we shouldn't be put down by these obstacles, it is not worth it!

let's listen t each others' says. I'll be your listening ears &you'll be mine. it will be our secret feedback sessions! okay?


i love you!



ps: they say communication is important t couples. it is real!

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/Robin: hahas!

did i dream that i was going t jump off the building or did i wake up &feel that way?


today, i dreamt that we quarrelled again. why why why is my dream turning my life upside down man! i hate it. booooo.

i felt like an invisible woman while u were asleep ytd. my boy was sooo tired, he totally ignored me the whole time. i was cold, sad and invisible. ):

invisibility.. i wonder if i had told u that i had a worse-r dream
last year. i felt like dying. &i still feel like telling u. maybe when we meet after sch tmr? then again, i wonder what u will say.

i love you &i am sorry. after so many days, i still feel like dying. ):

i really need someone t share my thoughts w. can u take it as a feedback session and be my listening ear? i hope u are reading this, seriously. tell me if u read okay?

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/Christina: irritating song hor?

if u find me emoing this few days, i probably am. &i found a new way t torture myself, that is not t eat dinner.

*disorganised post. every paragraph is a little of my thoughts. its kind of like on random mode now.

i fell down at the wheelbarrow event. lucky me, the camera was unharmed. imagine how much i have t pay cause i was holding a D300 if i am not wrong. X.X &i finally got t watch/hear tp song/mass dance after missing it for an entire year. Gladys &Alex were dancing like siao. haha! while i was at there, boyf was at smu for briefing of today's event. well, that was the reason i refused t go home &chose t go for the event actually. sigh. it feels lonely t go home alone. S: luckily there zx from vc that stays at my area, if not, I'll probably emo more on my way back.

u know what? i think i might have t stay in my original law class still. its Saturday already. i don't think Boey can help anymore.

when a couple is married, they dont fuse into one. they still have their individual rights.


yea, that's what i learnt in law class ytd. i am going t drill it into my mind or something. ahh! well, i joined boyf &aaron class for that one day. its like soo good t have someone you know in your class. i am going t have my first proj w/o the help of my bestfriend. i think i am going t fail.

idk idk idk. i should but i need an explanation/elaboration. i guess my story telling skills weren't that good. you know, i actually woke up t cry. &now i can't get back t sleep. i hope i can give myself 2 tight slaps in my face.

actually i have more t write but i have t be choosy w my words. sometimes i write, &i delete it off again cause i know its a moment of anger that kind of thing. so yea, i am going t shut up for now.

no, i am not angry. i am just sad, like everyone else.

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/Winnie: aiya, i think no one bothers. so forget it lor.
/Val: actually, its nothing much. i guess i was just bored. X.XV

cause i was selfish &wanted u all t myself.

we had this a major quarrel on Tuesday night but its my fault still, in the end. what t do? sorry was the only word i could came up w. but words that sting still linger around this few days. well, enough of this. i shall make up a story that someone used his email for something else. i can be a good story writer if i really really want t. i just have t make myself believe.

damn it, it is freaking hard. thus, i wont be using my laptop as much cause i don't want t get connect t earthlings online. I'll just stay home, lie on sofa &shut myself off from the outside world except my dearest boy on sms. but if you want t find me, feel free t call me. sms may/may not be entertained. (:

idk what happen, idk why. oh man, shut up &driveee. I WANT NOBODY, NOBODY BUT YOU!
❤ haha!

join vc at the booth both today &yesterday. you know what? i was supposed t be going around taking pictures ytd, but we couldn't find the key t the camera room (idk what name), so i got lazy &joined them at the booth. are they going t blacklist me? X.X i better do my work tmr!

okay, i really i want t get off comp soon. i don't feel safe on the net anymore. i just want t live life internet-less if possible, but look at all these projs. i don't think my excuse is use-able.

I'll do up the proj management assignment &get myself off this harmful world i am on.

i don't like gmail as much already, please try not t email me. seeing that page makes me sick.

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enough of miss evil, cute/funny/irritating video!

WONDERGIRLS; NOBODY (please watch in HQ)


this really cute bird on planet earth; PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WATCH IT(:


i am hungry. i ate 2 pau &a bread for the entire day. i think its time for my dinner.

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/Val &Huimin: yup! wait till we get the 50% off voucher. let's all go chiong!

WARNING: VULGARITIES &CAPPING OF WORDS IN THE POST CAUSE YUWEI FEELS DISCOMFORT OVER AN ISSUE. ITS LIKE HAVING CRAMP ON YOUR RIGHT CALF &NUMB ON YOUR LEFT CALF (yes, that's me too).


***** i am sorry if i have offended you in the post cause i have nothing against the people mentioned. it is actually for zach-knows-who (e.g.: see my msn pm first). if u do feel offended, please tell me, I'll sincerely bow &apologise t you face to face. right, 软软的? :D*****

remember a post about/within a week back? REMEMBER? okay okay, Gladys should know what i am referring t. i am going t quote it. SEE BELOW.

anyway, from this sem, i am proposing that for every new sem, we'll change chairperson .. this is apparently what other class in other courses have been doing ..no main/sub com people as chairperson. unless can share your seal points*...


right. whoever (babe/hunks) who disagrees, feel free t comment me w your harsh words. i need it. &this post is going t be all about it cause let me show you what our dearest
软软的 Anqi (inside joke! :D) sms us.

SOCIAL REP FOR N802: TERENCE + JESSICA
SPORTS REP: DARREN
ASST. TREASURER: SARAH
ASST. CLASS REP: ANQI


okay. one whole clique got in tgt, its okay. now, let me highlight (RED) t you those that are in the main/sub committee of FDM.

SOCIAL REP FOR N802: TERENCE + JESSICA
SPORTS REP: DARREN
ASST. TREASURER: SARAH
ASST. CLASS REP: ANQI


smart right. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG W YOU (zach-knows-who)? (nononono, you cant scold me for this.) DON'T BABES/HUNKS HAVE FUCKING LOADS OF SEAL POINTS FOR BEING IN THE MAIN/SUB COM?

SHOULDN'T WE HAVE THE RIGHTS T VOTE SINCE WE ARE THE HUMAN BEINGS IN THE CLASS? HUMAN RIGHTS MAN!

****EDITS AFTER READING AGAIN:
I JUST FEEL THAT APPOINTING W/O CONSULTING US IS KIND OF "OFF".

SINCE THESE POSTS ALLOWS BABES/HUNKS APPOINTED T LEARN/GAIN LEADERSHIP SKILLS, SHOULDN'T WE TRY TRAINING THE NOT-SO-PRO-ALREADY PEOPLE? THESE BABES/HUNKS HAVE THEIR OWN POST IN THE FDM COMMITTEE ALREADY, THEY ARE ALREADY ON TRAINING! THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE WHO ARE LOW ON SEAL POINTS &MAYBE WISH T GAIN SOME FUCKING SKILLS WHICH THEY CAN NEVER GAIN CAUSE THEY WILL NEVER FUCKINGLY* GET IT.
(*i think its funny t see the red dotted line underlining the word "fuckingly" cause the word/grammar corrector sense it's not really a word. weird sense of humour)

PS: HEY, I AM GETTING USED T SEEING CAPS ALREADY. OH WELL, I MIGHT AS WELL CONTINUE USING THIS RIGHT?

PS T THOSE WHO FEELS INJUSTICE T THE BABES/HUNKS: I KNOW. POOR ANQI, TERENCE (... &THE REST). I AM SORRY T USE YOU GUYS AS AN EXAMPLE. I JUST FEEL THAT WE SHOULD GIVE CHANCES T SOME HIDDEN TALENT IN OUR CLASS WHO SHUNS/HIDE/HAVEN BEEN FOUND FROM DOING THESE TASKS. &&THIS POST IS ACTUALLY FOR "AHEM AHEM".

PS T THOSE WHO THINKS THAT I AM JUST A JEALOUS BRAT (BRAT? HAHAHA!): I AM GLAD FOR THEM T BE RECOGNISED AS ONES W LEADERSHIP SKILLS CAUSE I THINK THEY REALLY DO POSSESS THESE SKILLS. THOSE PEOPLE WHO I HAVE SMALL CHAT (OR GOSSIPS BEFORE THIS ISSUE CAME UP) W KNOWS I GOT PRAISE ANQI CAUSE I REALLY FIND THAT SHE POSSESSES REALLY GOOD LEADERSHIP SKILLS.

OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK TYPING THIS POST MAKES ME FEEL SICK. I NEED A REST BEFORE I CONTINUE.

A LITTLE LOVE AFFECTION FOR MY WRONGLY ACCUSED BABE/HUNKS

I LOVE OXY2. PLEASE DON'T HATE ME. ITS JUST A VIEW I WANT T SHOW T, ahem, ZACH-KNOWS-WHO. &&I BELIEVE THEY WILL DO VERY WELL FOR THEIR APPOINTED POST. :D
HINT HINT: THIS POST IS NOT TARGETED T CAUSE HARM/DISTRESS T THE INNOCENT BABES/HUNKS (HAHA! ITS NOT TARGET AT/FOR YOU ALL LAH! ITS FOR ZACH-KNOWS-WHO)


EH, GUESS WHAT? I CAN SENSE FROM THIS POST THAT MY PERIOD IS COMING SOON. HAHAHA!

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i am still up &hopping around (hungry, looking for prey)

let me show you how my (i made it) timetable looks like.
*cds is not added yet cause idk want t change or not.





there is 2 column cause one is mine (green) &one is darling's (yellow)! his timetable always looks shorter than mine. why? ):

i miss you, baby! i wonder how you are there. the weeping &all, must be very saddening. ): i remembered when grandpa pass away, i was still strong. i told myself it will be fine, grandpa is getting release from the pain. i was strong, all the way till i went t take a last look (as part of the funeral). suddenly, i just cried.

&why am i tearing now? sigh.

bye! its time t sleep.

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UNIQLO

yes! i am still high about it cause i think their dry fit polo tee is damn hot. anyway, if you guys got go the Uniqlo website, you can don't read the following post cause u most probably should know about the Uniqlo Surprise.

i've been trying for idk how long (1, 2week). i usually gotten myself either a Uniqlo wallpaper or their unique ringtones. but hey, guess what?

I'VE GOTTEN MYSELF A 10% DISCOUNT VOUCHER!

like finally, cause my darling has already gotten his 5% voucher within a few days.

alright! click on the link &go t the website. you will see a row of colourful vending machines. click on any of them &you will be prompt t collect the prize. if it's your first time there, it will prompt you t register too (like duh~)! well, you get 2 tokens a day, so go there everyday! you will never know when you will get t win a trip t japan or get the 50% discount voucher!

well, i am hoping t get the 50% discount voucher. anyone who has gotten it, please share! :D

remember:
you get 2 tokens a day, everyday until august. so keep trying!

ps: don't i sound like a good advertise-r? :D

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childhood spoiler

i found this on the web.
*credit t whoever that came up w this &had it spreading around the net.

" So, a man came up with a theory that makes Pokemon seem deeper and more depressing.

If you're prepared to soil a part of your childhood, proceed.

Did one ever know the reason why the pacing and story development change after Ash was hit by lightning in the beginning episodes? How Ash and his world were relatively normal until after the incident? I have a theory. The accident with the bike put Ash in a coma. Days later he was found and was hurried to the hospital and treated with heavy medications. This is why Team Rocket became less menacing. The medication took effect and stabilized his coma dreams, instead of being terrifying, they became idyllic, and he's able to live out his Pokémon master fantasies.

If one had noticed, the early episodes of Pokémon were of amazing quality. The rest of the series is just the results of his subconscious mind fulfilling his desires, as well as attempting to escape them. Should Ash realize he's in a coma, he would wake up, but suffer brain damage. So he has to take down all his mental barriers one by one until he can come to grips with what he is and escape his coma.

This explains why he doesn't change much physically. Also, the worldwide socialism can be explained if you once again realize that this is a dream world; he thought up a safe system of government that would run smoothly and keeps the world going allowing his adventures to work like they do. It also explains a few other things, such as how a child can go off on his own in a world full of dangerous untamed animals, and why every Pokémon center has the same exact nurse. Joy and Jenny he knew from his hometown, and they act as a safety net or anchor, allowing him to feel safe no matter where he goes. The professors, like the Joy's and Jenny's represent stability, and ash's ideals. This is why Gary became a professor. It's also the reason that every time he enters a new region, virtually no one has heard of him, despite his conquests, and why Giovanni leads Team Rocket. How could Paul, the rival of the Sinnoh area, not know of someone who has placed in at least the top 16 of all three leagues and has destroyed the Orange league and Battle Frontier?

Ash's travelling partners are actually aspects of himself he can enjoy, but doesn't like to associate with himself. Team Rocket are his qualities that he deems "negative", but is coming to terms with. Jesse and James want to appease Giovanni, Ash's Father. Meowth especially wants to appease him because he remembers the good times with Giovanni. This places meowth in a category known as Ash's (corrupted) innocence, and another fragment of Ash's humanity. If you note that meowth can speak this quickly becomes apparent. In fact the whole reason for meowth's speech is so he can help Ash accept Team rocket as part of himself eventually.

Brock is Ash's repressed sexuality. He fell into the coma a virgin and needed an outlet for his growing sexual frustrations. Since he can never experience sex, Brock must never succeed. Brock is a projection of his sexuality, and is constantly shot down because Ash could never "know" sex. Brock isn't just Ash's latent sexuality, he's also his fatherly instincts, neither of which Ash can come to terms with. Brock leaves his siblings to "journey" with Ash. because Ash can't cope with having that much responsibility, much as his foray with a real relationship ends on mysterious terms. Ash just cannot handle commitment at his mental level. Brock's stay with Professor Ivy was an attempt to outright suppress his sexuality. You'll notice that James got much more dialogue in this part of the series, as well as getting more touchy feel-y with his pokemon and getting most of his backstory. Ash didn't enjoy this much, hence the reasons Brock comes back all horrified, and refuses to speak about it. (Ash's subconscious was repressing him at the time, so other than a general feeling of dread he has no idea of what went on then.) This is also why Brock keeps coming back to the series.... Usually AFTER Ash meets a new girl aspect of himself.

Misty is an image that Ash had of a girl. This is why she plays so prevalently in the series but is ultimately unattainable because he never really knew her before the coma. Likely the one that helped get him to a hospital. I have a theory in line with this: Since Misty was his initial love interest (if only subconsciously), he needed her to reach a level of womanhood. He felt that people could only have relationships when they've matured. But in practice, it turned out he couldn't cope with it and just wanted the normal, pushy, arrogant Misty he knew, and wouldn't let her keep Togepi anymore.

Misty is Ash's first attempt at a girl he could love, however, being a girl from the real world, all he really he knew of her was her anger, as a result she ended up quite hot headed in his mind. Constantly berating his sexuality, but eventually mellowing out until she had faded into the background. This was also traumatizing to him, being attached to it. Since then, the thought of anyone around him maturing to adulthood has been blocked, and anyone who shows signs of it will quickly end up leaving for another, more naive fill-in.

Max came with May, she played the Id with great aspirations, and he played the sensible Ego that "Session". They worked for a little while but Ash, being a teenager, eventually had his sexuality had to come back into play. He kept reinventing himself and eventually wrote new aspects, but his mind slowly brought back the old ones as a crutch to make the transition easier.

Dawn is Ash giving himself a chance to love. since he already established Misty as someone he's not likely to go anywhere with, he created a new super female, one that was more like him, and less violent all the time. (One will note that both May and Misty had no tolerance for Brock whatsoever whereas Dawn seems to try and shrug it off.)

Tracey, The Breeder was a possible future for Ash that he discarded. It was one that he sent off to work with the Professor (the professors being Ash's ultimate ideal of a father figure) when he disrupted the dynamic Ash had with his other possibilities. Ash's mind is fighting the coma and since Ash viewed this one as a companion he was quickly replaced with a more threatening Rival.

Pikachu obviously represents Ash's Humanity, hence the episodes where they get separated, and Ash wants desperately to find him, even to the point of working with the rockets ( aspects of himself he would never normally associate with) but for some reason cannot. They want to steal Pikachu (Ash's humanity) and hand it over to his father, Giovanni. Jesse and James will always oppose Ash because Ash is terrified of the thought of his humanity lying in the hands of his father. However this is the same reason that he will work with those aspects of himself in order to save his humanity from just becoming flat out LOST. He couldn't evolve his Pikachu without challenging his concept of who he was, something he wasn't comfortable with while he was still working through his original issues.

Another thing is the narrator. The narrator is Ash's higher mind, recapping and explaining the progress he's made and the tribulations he will face allowing itself insight into how best to awaken him.

Ash has issues With his Father; so he put him atop the evil corporation, and demonized him. There may be an actual team rocket, and I'm positive they're quite dastardly, but I doubt that ash's father is their leader, in fact the head of the rockets wasn't really identified as anyone until later on in the series. The split between Ash's parents was likely over Ash's homosexuality and some sort of incident as a catalyst, forcing his father to disown him and his mother to move out of the city and down to pallet town. This is why Giovanni runs the faceless Vile corporation, and why he berates Jesse, James, and Meowth as much as he does, and why they keep trying to please him. Another thing to notice is the difference in uniform, The rockets wear Black and Red, where Team Rocket wears White....a symbol of their purity and naivete. They're willing to please father despite his utter hatred of those parts of Ash .

Team rocket are aspects of Ash's personality that he has deemed "bad" James implied homosexuality, and Jesse’s vanity. You'll remember that Meowth has the potential for rehabilitation, and doesn't want to be evil, so yet again this fits in with the conflicting personalities and demonized self theory. Team rocket started cross-dressing because Ash had to come to terms with that part of himself. It was something he was able to allow his gay/vain side to experiment with (and by virtue of that himself). When he found that it wasn't something for him, his "Free" side stopped playing with it. Further, their methods of capture become more and more ludicrous (and physically impossible) because Ash is just a kid dreaming these things up. This is the reason Team Rocket's disguises are always believed. He knows it's them (on some level), but chooses to ignore it, so he can better himself, in a sense the Ash who wants to escape is sabotaging the Ash who wants to stay lost in his mind. So that there can be more conflict, and hopefully an eventual escape. The filler episodes that don't focus on Ash and the gang are his mind working through, and humanizing the parts of himself that he demonized. It's a way for him to deal with issues that Ash and crew wouldn't touch, because it involves treading ground he himself had sworn not to go near. As I said, Team Rocket and the episodes they occupy are Ash dealing with ground he feels uncomfortable with tackling on his own. Jessie is Ash's vanity and gullibility, she will trick Ash's submissive homosexuality into doing her bidding so she can please father. James' troubled childhood is his way of justifying his latent homosexuality. Now James is Ash's latent homosexuality, hence why he is constantly punished by Pokémon and attacked by random attractive girls. I believe the split between Ash's parents was caused by this part of Ash, maybe an incident at school, bringing shame on the family and forcing them to move to the small, country town of Pallet. Ash's motivations for his journey were to escape mounting pressure at home.

So in a way, Ash IS Team Rocket. The rest of the whole organization Including Butch and Cassidy is symbolic of his inability to escape his father's machinations.

Mr. Mime is actually a stand in for Ash's father, one that can't emotionally abuse him or his mom. He is a Pokémon, a peace loving creature that's oddly humanoid, but that can never hurt a human. Ash's was never really hurt by a Pokémon, so he sees them all as harmless; whereas, in the real world they may be quite feral or vicious (as seen in the early episodes). Again falling back to the theory that the only real Pokémon are the ones from the first season, and everything else is just further speculation coming from his mind on what new species would look like.

The new teams (magma, aqua, and galactic) are Ash attempting to work out the problems he has with his father. to do that he first needs a new "bad guy" to feel good about beating, and if Giovanni isn't leading a criminal organization he can more easily relate to him.

If one recalls, there were real animals early in the show and references to animals in the game and show. For example, a clear case to point out is the aquarium of fish in the Cerulean City Gym or that by the Pokédex that Pikachu is a “rat-like” Pokémon. But they don't matter to Ash's psyche so they don't come into play much. If Ash had loved puppies, everything would be about different breeds of dogs, and a dog fighting circuit. But, as the series goes on longer, we've been seeing less realistic animals and more Pokémon. This could be a sign of Ash’s mind deteriorating. As he's in this coma, he's losing concepts of some animals and machinery and replacing them with Pokémon. It could explain things like electric Pokémon working as power generators. A sign that his memory of the old world is slipping more and more as time goes by. The Pokémon realm will be idealized continuously the longer he has no stimulus from the real world. He may or may not be mentally deteriorating , but he is becoming more accustomed to his fake world's rules. The wild Pokémon are his rationalizations of the functioning of the world. It’s the "A wizard did it" Syndrome. If he doesn't know how it works, his mind says Pokémon. He justifies anything he can't explain with Pokémon, and real animals fall into the background because he has no real interest in them.

The Pokémon in Ash's team are his issues, for example Charmander represents his sex drive (not his sexuality like Brock) at first it's a cute easy to control thing, but eventually becomes a raging inferno of disobedience. Acquiring his team means getting at his issues, but as he trains them, he works the issues out. Other trainers are more direct forms of his issues, ones that he must either come to terms with or outright suppress. Gym leaders are more primary aspects of his personality with each Pokémon being stronger than the last, to display a level of skill he could be capable of if only he gave into it. In effect, he is doing battle with a part of him that he would rather not have in control. Bulbasaur was Ash's unwillingness to change, this is reflected when it declines to evolve and how it almost decided to stay behind unless he battled it. Squirtle was his willingness to follow the lead of others, as evidenced by the gang it ran with, even though he ran the gang, they were viewed as one group, and Ash's subconscious just gave him the strongest one. Butterfree was his crushing loneliness, which he dealt with when he released it to join a flock. His bird types are his recklessness, always willing to sacrifice something at a moment's notice for the win. When Ash is trading Pokémon, it's an attempt to push his own problems away on someone else; however, he realizes this and usually trades back fairly quickly. Originally Ash had the battles, which evolved into team battles and contests. The explanation for this is that his issues became more and more complicated, and the means of dealing with them needed to become more complex. The fact that he uses issues that he has already dominated to win these are signs that he's growing stronger.

Not only are Ash’s Pokémon are a manifestation of different parts of himself, so are Pokémon of other trainers as well. Koffing and Ekans were symbolic of Team Rocket's willingness to change; hence, their evolutions. Once his mind beat that roadblock down and allowed them to change once, it gives him the chance to truly change. Pupitar is a rationalization, a Pokémon that a rival caught before he met him. Even Ash would become suspicious if everyone he met had no carry-over from previous places he had been to.

Ash releases his Pokémon because his mind is forcing him to let go of them. The second he raises an overpowered team, a tournament comes up, and after fighting his way through it he has to go to a new land for new challenges, but with an overpowered team, there won't be any challenges, and no way to motivate him further, part of Ash wants to stay in the coma, and keep journeying.

Ash's travelling also never really nets him any fame, no matter what he does, or where he goes, and the answer for that is simple. Ash just can't picture himself as famous, so he essentially adopts a new identity every few months.

The reason he never truly becomes a master is because that would mean he'd have nothing left to dream, and would wake up from his coma. Ash’s dual personality is one that wants to maintain his fantasy world and slowly sort his thoughts out carefully. The other part wants freedom, and to return to his real life, to finally become a real Pokémon master. However if he's allowed to keep his powerful team there's no reason to meet and tame new Pokémon(Issues), he'll lose interest, and the chance of becoming self-aware comes around again. So it's not that he gives them up, it's that he loses them, and unless he's desperate (such as with Charizard) he can't get them back. It’s basically his mind forcing him to deal with his issues. It would also be a good reason why Paul has shown up at this point, and Ash has been forced to work with him on at least one occasion: It's his mind's last ditch efforts to snap him out of this, to force Ash to actually come to terms that this perfect world is not the best option and he needs to wake up. Paul is Ash's dark side, one that wants to push on even harder and harder, and the part of him that will stop at nothing to escape this coma world.

Ash’s rivals and the Elite four are ultimately the strongest part of this cycle. Having Pokémon that are essentially godlike, they represent both what can be attained and what is unattainable. Gary Oak is what Ash wants to be. He is wish fulfillment. He succeeded, and settled down to a normal life. Ash needs someone to succeed in his world or he won't be able to validate it and will start questioning why he's where he is. It’s a subconscious trap to keep him from becoming too aware of his situation. His mind must have figured out that awareness of the coma would snap him out of it, but it would cause major brain damage, so it took something the boy already loved and built a way out for him with it. However Ash is too complacent to finally fight his way out of it, and cannot escape. This is why he keeps encountering Legendary Pokémon, they're his mind's way of showing him he can do great things if he tries, and it's a way to encourage him to push forwards. The Legendary Pokémon are Ash's mind telling him that he has greatness in him and thus, can escape his happy–go–lucky reality.

Ash's Rivals are all possible futures he envisions for himself (note that they are all older than him). This originated with Gary Oak, someone Ash knew from real life, and built up into a sort of god within his mind. Gary however progressed and changed to suit Ash's vision of himself and ultimate desire, eventually settling down into a professor after beating the Elite Four. With Gary in retirement his mind needed a new rival for him, thus the births of Richie (the Good aspect of his rivalry) and Paul (as the darker aspect, a cut-throat Ash, willing to do anything to escape the coma world).

Richie and his Pikachu were another success story for Ash, but he wanted one he could be closer with. One nearly identical to him. One that even used a similar roster to him. Paul and his Chimchar are the polar opposite of Richie, Paul wants nothing to do with any kind of weakness, and is almost aware of his situation. He's always pushing for something more.

The reason he discarded his original hat and the elements of japanese culture so prevalent in the first season is simple. He wanted to travel and broaden his horizons, every time he reinvented himself to do so; he lost touch with his original self. If he ever does escape the coma he'll likely have achieved a sort of Zen state. Considering the amount of personal issues he deals with inside his head, it's entirely likely that he was the next Buddha of the Pokémon world, and that the lightning strike and subsequent coma are a way for him to realize his true self, and destiny.

Mewtwo was a new form of treatment, done with electric impulses and a machine to knock Ash out of it, taking down every last one of his mental guards (the original Pokémon in the movie). In Ash's mind, Mewtwo and his clones were the treatment for the mental safe guards that were protecting Ash and keeping him comatose; the Pokémon of his world. The clones were counters to Ash's mental safeties, and so each appeared to Ash as the exact copy of his defense, intended to take it down by Force. The clones didn't play by the rules of Ash's world, they didn't use any special Pokémon attacks or moves – they just beat down their counterpart by brute strength. The treatment was working, but there were side effects. The electric jolts were beginning to affect Ash's nervous system, and if the treatment continued, he would be paralyzed. His mind realized this and manifested it to Ash by petrifying him in his dream. Were it not for the end of the treatment by Ash's mother (knowing her son would never want to live in a world he couldn’t explore), Ash would have remained as stone in his dream. After this, Ash needed to recover from the damage of the electric therapy. Obviously it was greatly dangerous to him, and in order to reduce the danger Ash's consciousness felt from it, Ash's subconscious began downplaying the effects of electricity in Ash's world, which is why Pikachu’s electric attacks -once noted for their strength by Team Rocket – no longer have any effect on Ash, other than comic relief.

Even the world Ash lives in evidences this. The sprawling forests and eco friendly cities are all his childish innocence. He never travels on a bike despite the distance due to the accident having given him a phobia of them.

As one could see, it is very likely that Ash is trapped in his world. But like every dream, everything, there is a beginning and an end. What would happen if Ash could fully recover? What would happen if he never does? There are infinite branches of possibilities that spiral upwards and intertwine towards the top at a single point, both in his “world” and the real world. In his hospital room, we see Delia, obviously distraught talking to a doctor with a grim look in his eye. He's saying that their insurance is up, and the boy has had no change in brain activity for seven years. That a shock like this may awaken him. She tearfully agrees.

Professor Oak is there to comfort her as they take Ash off life support.


In Ash’s “world”.

Ash has finally defeated the elite four, and one by one the people around him start disappearing. eventually everything is black. Pikachu comes dashing towards him glowing brighter and brighter in the darkness. Eventually Pikachu reaches ash and the two embrace one last time.

Back in his room, as his life signs fade, Ash mutters his genuine, final words.

I...Want...To...Be,
The...Very...Best.

The image of his gaunt, tube-fed, ten-some-year bed ridden body on the bed. His head appears bulbous from atrophy. As he utters his last words, he barely opens his eyes, seeing a silhouette of the figure at the center of his turbulent emotions, his mother, her face obstructed by her hands wiping away tears. He makes contact with her eyes and lets out one last tear before losing all strength. She breaks down in hysterics.

The worst part of all this is that Ash will die, never having experienced actual love, imagine if you will, having lived in a world like his, completely shut off from all things but yourself, and your perception of yourself, with nothing but better yourself. No other people to interact with and issues to solve with no guiding hand.

The boy will die, never having known his dream, except as naught but a dream. The second he gets out into reality for that last moment, part of him knows it was all a lie, his faithful Pikachu? His friends? All his imagination, and maybe, he could have fought and clung to life, maybe even made a full recovery. But knowing that his efforts and ambitions had all been for naught, he just gave up and let the motion carry him away, just so he could be with Pikachu, in a place where his friends were waiting.

I would like to think that he'll realize that his mother loved him and was holding out hope that he'd recover all that time. On the flip side, though, when he sees her he knows that the hope she had is totally broken and she'd come to the crushing realization that the worst thing that can befall a parent has happened to her: outliving her only child. At once he knows he is loved and that it means that the one closest to him is utterly crushed.

Still, there are other possibilities. The fountain of time flows in mysterious ways. One could not go back, against the current such as Gatsby; but, one could never see what is waiting for him downstream. Ash finally defeats Lance, only to be confronted by not Gary Oak, but a mute, mirror image of himself.

The voice of the narrator speaks to him, telling him that now he can finally escape the prison of his own mind. One by one, his friends appear and melt away into more copies of him, all cheering him on. After a long tough battle against himself with the assistance of all of his Pokémon he had ever befriended, he jolts awake.


In his hospital room he sees his parents asleep; he finds himself unable to speak.

Ash pushes forward towards his recovery. Going through physical therapy, training harder and harder with rehabilitative Pokémon, until he can walk on his own again. This time, an older and wiser Ash sets out on a journey. Just like last time, he's late getting to Professor Oak's laboratory. And when there's only one Pokémon left....He suddenly recalls all his memories of his "life" and realizes that all his friends are gone forever.

As he sets out with his new companion, he finds the world is darker than he imagined. More “real”, Pokémon and people die; he too has aged.

He vows to become the Master he dreamed he was. He vows to himself.

He vows to “them”.

I WILL be the very best! "


has it spoilt your childhood?
it did t mine. ):

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/Gladys: haha! idk. were you w Alex that day? o.o

i deleted the last post. i think i am a petty ass. okay, it was my fault anyway. sorry!

I've thought about my cds. law was what i wanted t take before i knew it was a proj work cds, kind of disappointing. sigh. &thanks t Darren for telling me that Gary (is it him? yes, i am still trying t recall what u said the other time) is also in law. i wonder if he has any friends that joined him. if he does (sigh), i'll be alone again. :/

i miss my darling boy. ):
sorry, i couldn't help at all.

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i think it's not a good year.

baby will be going t Malaysia tmr; something happened t his family member. he is busy trying t finish up all his work cause it will be due tmr/Sunday/Monday(? idk). idk how t help him other than not distracting him by msn/sms. &&for his work due ytd, i didn't have enough time t finish correcting the errors which resulted in quite a few errors in his work (but at least it wasn't late!).

sigh. i shd train myself t do editing faster.

anyway, baby bought a vintage Fred Perry that looks superrrr gorgeous on him. :D i want t get more clothes too, after i get more money.
(ps: in case you don't know, i am broke. deaddd broke.) D:

i hope my orders from blogshops will come soon.

anyway, today's post is kind of messed cause i stopped half way t do research for darling &the feeling was kind of off after that.

the main thing is:
my baby will be gone t Malaysia for Friday, Saturday, Sunday. ): i guess I'll be free on those days, so call me out? no call = skipping (rope) day.

bye!

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/Gladys: yup! go patok some more lar!

since i have around 20mins before i head t shower &t sch, I'll blog. but I'll still have t do it fast cause my laptop is on battery &what's left is only 33%. :/

timetable is out today. yes, i got t be one of the few t celebrate; OXY2 POWER! but then i saw that i was the only one in law. like how the hell am i supposed t survive that? i really really wanted t take law but i heard its a group proj cds.

make friends all over again just for a proj? omg, i know it sounds immature. but you wld say that too, if u were me. imagine when people split groups &all, as someone that have no friends in the class/cds, i wldn't have a choice on joining whose group. what if i got some random dudes/gals &he/she gave me crappy work/attitude.

HOW T SCORE? bloody hell.

i shall change my cds t public speaking since it was my second choice anyway. sigh. please tell me if u want t take law next sem, i wld like t join u very much.

left: 25% :D
bye people!

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/Robin &Sarah: yay! i can't wait for the campppp! btw i am camping by my laptop t see the timetable!
/Huimin: XD the queue quite fast de leh! i am going again cause i didn't get anything the other time.

it felt as though i fell in love again, &i decided t do it.
(no, i am not giving my love t another person cause it for my one &only Kenneth darling!)

you know the kind of feeling that grab you so hard, the words that goes t you mind is "i must get him/her/it". yes, it came over again. i want that dress in Agneselle so so sooo much that I've decided t borrow from my darling boy t pay for it. well, i am still waiting for the invoice actually. i hope I'll be able t get it.

my darling boy is working hard on his proj now, deadline is today 23:59.

we were supposed t be out today cause my two dates(choir syf &girlf outing) were postpone. apparently, i pushed away my ticket t choir syf cause i promised Hassy t go for outing. it was planned that we'll go on Wednesday. you know what? it turns out that she thought is Thursday. i remember it perfectly that i wanted Thursday t be kept free. unless i have gone omfg crazy t say i want it on Thursday CAUSE TIMETABLE IS OUT TMR. yes, i want t be one of the first t be able t celebrate that our class is not splitting. or maybe be the first t sulk/complain &form the anti fan club as promised (ps: i want t be the president! :D).

sigh. why do we have @#%#$@# as .......

anyway, from this sem, i am proposing that for every new sem, we'll change chairperson. no offence t Juliaha but this is apparently what other class in other courses have been doing. i cant believe we're so dumb. &no main/sub com people as chairperson. unless can share your seal points*, right Gladys? :D
(* &i still remembered i spelt seal points ask silk points while on convo w Karhong the other day)

oh well, i shall get off this acc &wait for the invoice. i want that dress!
(ps: i am reading up on melting chocolate &stuffs cause darling's birthday is coming. i want t make him chocolates by myself!)
(psps: i promise there wont be melamine but i cant guarantee it will taste good)

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/Huimin: haha! u didn't queue up ar? i managed t get in! &yup, Yunho is cuteeeee!

i am not feeling very well today. it consist of stomach ache, tummy ache, stomach ache, tummy ache, stomach ache, tummy ache
, stomach ache, tummy ache, stomach ache, tummy ache, stomach ache, tummy ache, stomach ache, tummy ache, stomach ache, tummy ache, stomach ache, tummy ache, stomach ache, tummy ache, stomach ache, tummy ache, stomach ache, tummy ache, stomach ache, tummy ache.. sigh.

tmr is NV choir syf &my outing w girls. idk if i am even going for any, &this sucks.

i hope most of OXY2 is going for the fdm thingy. i want t get high(sing the F.I.R song) tgt, if i manage t get in. cause i didn't go for the previous briefing &all. :/

lalalaaaa~ i really have nothing much t write today. cause the tummy ache, stomach ache, tummy ache(..) were so horrible, i got too tired &fell asleep w all the pain.

boo. i miss you darlingggggggggggggggg!
(ps: you are my one &only. kisses! when shall we play wrestling again?)

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About This Blog

This blog is a place where I share my thoughts/experiences with anybody who is interested in my personal life.

Right, what else am I supposed to put here? It's pretty much self-explanatory what.

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